Stupid Power Rankings (Week 3 of the 2020-21 NBA Season)

People LOVE Power Rankings in sports. It’s pretty stupid. So, of course, I have MY Stupid Power Rankings. I take 10 things from the NBA and (or not) in the past week and rank them accordingly. You don’t like them? Make your own rankings!

It’s been a mixed bag this week, to say the least. Here’s the list.

(PHOTO CREDIT: Jacob Kupferman/AP.)

1) LaMelo Set a Record

LaMelo Ball of the Charlotte Hornets is the youngest player in NBA history to get a triple-double. He went for 22-12-11 OFF THE BENCH in Saturday‘s game against Atlanta. LaMelo was 19 years, 140 days old when he achieved that feat. The previous record-holder was Markelle Fultz (speedy recovery to him; he tore his ACL last week), who was 19 years, 317 days old.

By the way, Fultz broke LaMelo’s BROTHER’S record, Lonzo Ball. Lonzo was 20 years, 15 days old when he did it. Them Ball brothers love making that history.

2) Payton Pritchard Wins It!

Look at rookie Payton Pritchard with the alert play to put this back in with time running out. What a thrill for the rookie to get a game-winner for the Boston Celtics.

(PHOTO CREDIT: Justin K. Aller/Getty Images.)

3) The Cleveland Browns Won a Playoff Game!

The Cleveland Browns are going to the Divisional Round of the Playoffs after beating the Pittsburgh Steelers! It had been a long time for the Browns.

The Browns hadn’t been to the playoffs in 18 years. They didn’t win in the playoffs that season, though, as they lost to the same Pittsburgh Steelers.

Cleveland actually hadn’t won a playoff game since 1995. Bill Belichick was actually the coach of the Browns and they beat… the Patriots in the wild card game. The Browns would go on to lose against… the Steelers.

The #1 song in America when the Browns won that playoff game? On Bended Knee by Boyz II Men. God, I’m old.

4) Warriors Had a Good Week

After the Warriors were given up for dead on Christmas Day, they went 3-1 in the last week. They blew out the Sacramento Kings, split their games with the Clippers, and escaped the Toronto Raptors. And the thing is Stephen Curry shot badly against Toronto and won… and also shot badly against the Clips in their first game and the Clippers barely won.

I think the Dubs are going to be all right.

5) Caleb Martin Actually Did This

Caleb Martin gets away from Solomon Hill and then takes off from afar for this impressive jam. Seriously, that is excellent.

(PHOTO CREDIT: Tim Nwachukwu/Getty Images.)

6) Bradley Beal Dropped 60

Bradley Beal dropped the second 60-point game in 8 days’ time against the Sixers. But he only scored three points after the third quarter (yes, he had 57 in three quarters). Anytime an NBA player drops SIXTY, it is quite a feat.

7) This Andre Drummond Possession

This might be the most offensive offensive possession in years and it is HILARIOUS.

(PHOTO CREDIT: Noah Graham/Getty Images.)

8) The Clippers Blew Yet Another Big Lead

The Clippers were in playoff form after blowing a 22-point lead that they held in the third quarter. Curry blew up for 38 points and the Dubs won by 10. Woof.

9) Calvin’s Hot Mic

Rockets legend and analyst Calvin Murphy was talking about James Harden‘s poor game. And right before they went to break, you can hear Calvin say, “He quit.” Yikes.

(PHOTO CREDIT: Nic Antaya/Getty Images.)

10) Wrecked By Protocols

Okay. The “health and safety protocols” is a term we’ve heard WAY too much in the last week. Also, it’s just terrifying that the players’ health AND safety are being compromised here. I hope the players that tested positive are going to be okay; it’s always scary when you hear something like that for ANYBODY (Jayson Tatum being one of them).

Also, the competitive balance might have been compromised (far less important than lives, obviously, but people care about this stuff, too). The Sixers still played, even though their roster was ravaged on Saturday against the Nuggets. Philly lost. But then the Heat/Celtics game on Sunday was postponed because their rosters were decimated by contact tracing and Miami didn’t have enough players required to play. And as of this writing, the Mavericks don’t have enough eligible players to play against the Pelicans for Monday.

That’s a lot to take in the league. That’s what happens, unfortunately, when a sports league tries to have a normal schedule amidst a pandemic.


Everyone, please take care of yourselves during this pandemic. And that goes for everyone involved with the NBA as well.

You can find Rey-Rey on Twitter at @TheNoLookPass.

You can also check out Rey-Rey’s podcast, Rey-Rey Is Fundamental, for more basketball content and, really, whatever else.

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