Power Rankings can be really stupid. So stupid that The No-Look Pass just had to have “Stupid Power Rankings.”
Disagree with the rankings? Well, we already prefaced that these are stupid. Just have fun with these as I rank these however I feel where they stupidly belong.
1) Kobe Bryant’s Final NBA Game
BUT HE SHOT FIFTY TIMES AND DIDN’T LEAVE MUCH FOR HIS TEAMMATES. HE NEEDED THAT MUCH TO GET TO 60 POINTS.
First of all, do you even understand what’s going on here? If you didn’t get much entertainment out of this as an NBA fan then I don’t know what to say to you. This is the perfect way for Kobe Bryant to go out. The game had essentially become an exhibition because, earlier in the night, the Rockets had clinched the last playoff spot for the West. Utah really had nothing to play for other than to end the season on a good note.
But it looked like Utah played like everything was on the line. They led by 14 in the fourth quarter and even led by 10 with 2:15 left in the game.
Enter the Snake.
Kobe put on an unbelievable performance in the end and reminded us why he was one of the best ever. He sank his last five field goal attempts of his career (ONE FOR EACH CHAMPIONSHIP) and made the game-clinching assist (!!!) to Jordan Clarkson for the jam. It was one last show he put on for the basketball fans and it was magical. It’s like he wanted to prove one last time that he’s still got it and it was like he was telling us, “How DARE you guys think I’m washed up.” He gave it everything he had; he was notably seen gasping for air during timeouts. But that’s all we ask for when it comes to our favorite people in different fields: give us everything and leave it all out there.
The last game of his NBA career was very fitting. He was a shooter and he left the game shooting. A LOT. Thanks for the entertainment, homeslice.
1) The Golden State Warriors Made History
Kobe Bryant was very very fun. With that said, I refuse to gloss over what the Golden State Warriors did last night. I’m not going to be all 60 > 73 or 73 > 60 or whatever. What the Warriors did was INCREDIBLE.
The Warriors won 73 games in what is now the greatest NBA regular season of all-time. The team lost ONLY NINE TIMES. Teams are bound to have a few bad days or lose to teams that are nearly (or) as great as they are. And sometimes, teams lose because they’re exhausted after landing from a flight the morning of the game (AFTER playing a game the night before). Somehow, the Dubs withstood all that and won 73 of 82 games. That’s an incredible accomplishment.
And really, we wonder how they LOST 9 times. We can look at some games where they had head-scratching hiccups: we can point to that overtime loss against Minnesota at home. We can also point to a blowout loss against the Lakers. But STILL, NINE LOSSES.
They are the first team in history to NOT lose back-to-back games in the regular season. Plus they are also the first team in history to NOT lose TWICE to an NBA team. All of this will not matter to the Warriors if they don’t win the NBA title and with the 67-win Spurs team looming, this championship will not be handed over.
Still, even if they DON’T win the title, I will remember this as the greatest regular season ever. Championships are forever, sure, but 73-9 will be, too, until another team breaks that. And I’m not going to doubt the record getting broken anymore because I never thought I would see the 1996 Bulls get eclipsed.
73-9, though. Holy sh…
3) Two Teams Finish With 67+ Wins
On a bit of a smaller scale, I am ALSO not glossing over the fact that we had TWO teams finish with 67 or more wins this season. Well, being that the other team is the San Antonio Spurs, they probably WANT us to ignore that they won 67 games.
I think it’s crazy that it took 70 wins for the Warriors to clinch home court advantage throughout the playoffs. That’s how good the Spurs are this season. They tailed the Warriors the entire campaign and even beat them in San Antonio.
And they didn’t get as much pub because that’s how the Spurs roll. It’ll be an upset if the Warriors and Spurs don’t face off in the Western Conference finals.
4) Stephen Curry Made 400 Three-Pointers
In video games, making five three-pointers per game sounds easy. In a real-life NBA game? Not so much. But Stephen Curry did it. He made 5.09 threes per game. But really, 402 total in the season? He obliterated the previous record he set last year; he made 286 then.
It’s crazy. A lot of NBA players don’t even get five shot attempts per game and here’s Curry making the three-pointer look easy. Maybe he can make 500 threes next season.
Oh, his teammate, Klay Thompson, made 276 three-pointers this season. HIS TEAMMATE. By the way, Klay’s 276 is good for third of all-time. If Stephen Curry retired before the 2014-15 season, Thompson would have the record.
Splash.
5) Four East Teams Finished With 48-34 Records
Oh, hey. Look at the Eastern Conference make a bit of noise! This was the first time since 1999 that the 8th seed in the East had a better record than the 8th seed in the West. And the East actually had nine winning teams compared to seven in the West. In head-to-head match-ups, the West actually beat the East, 232-218. But the league finally has some sort of parity between the conferences. Of course, two historic teams reside in the West but let’s give credit to the East here.
In the middle of the East playoff pack are four teams with 48-34 records. It’s definitely gotten competitive up in here. Because of the tiebreakers, it turns out that 3-6 will be (in order) Miami, Atlanta, Boston, and Charlotte. Good to see the Heat back in the picture. Atlanta wasn’t as strong as last season but they were still a team that kept it together. And Boston and Charlotte finished very strongly to secure #5 and #6.
While we’re all thinking it’s Cleveland and everyone else in the East, I do want to see everyone else duke it out for conference semifinal spots.
6) Houston Rockets Made The Playoffs
Hooray, I guess.
They have underachieved all year, even exiling a coach along the way. James Harden had an all-time high in defensive lapses and lowlights this season. Dwight Howard continued to be unlikable. And we only saw glimpses and flashes on what made them formidable last season. We’re still waiting for them to break out and they have one more shot in their still-alive campaign.
Unfortunately for them, they’re facing a team that hasn’t even lost ten games yet this season.
7) Not Doing and Keeping Jobs in Sacramento
In the last night of the season, the Kings could have played spoiler. They were going against the aforementioned Rockets. The Rockets would have missed the postseason had the Kings beat them AND had the Jazz beat the Lakers (but we all know how that turned out).
But it doesn’t make sense that they would rest Rajon Rondo, Rudy Gay, Darren Collison, and DeMarcus Cousins in the final game of the season. It’s not like they’re playing any more games this season. What? Save them for NEXT season?
And finally, the Kings have ended their up-and-down relationship with head coach George Karl. It was no secret that Karl and Boogie weren’t… the best of friends, to put it mildly. The Kings have some talent to compete for the bottom playoff spots but what they need more than anything is stability. They need a head coach that can take command and that can stay there for the long-term.
There are some pretty big names out there. Hope they can secure a good one in the weeks to come.
8) Reality Has Set In For The Lakers
Kobe Bryant was fun in April 13, 2016. That was a rare day in the season where the Lakers had something going.
But the fact of the matter is that the Lakers ended the season with a 17-65 record. Byron Scott made tons of questionable decisions his entire tenure there and did his best to tear down a young core whenever he got the chance to. Let’s also not forget the offcourt incidents that Nick Young, Jordan Clarkson, and D’Angelo Russell had. And with the young players’ fluctuating time and, quite frankly, lack of coaching on both ends, it’s tough to judge this young core.
The Lakers need a fresh start. The Kobe era is obviously done and I feel like Byron was only there to appease Bryant. Get a new head coach (a young coach with tons of potential is what I would prefer) and have him coach the team for a good four to five years. Have him grow with the team and see what you got then. And if you think the coach is good enough to take the team to the next level, keep him. If not, then hire an established coach that has taken teams to the next level.
As far as players go, if they get a good free agent, great! Obviously, LeBron James and Kevin Durant are available but I honestly expect them to stay. But there are also guys like DeMar DeRozan, Hassan Whiteside, Harrison Barnes, Al Horford, and Nicolas Batum in the mix. I think they need to shore up the frontcourt a bit but you can definitely upgrade on Clarkson, who I think is much better served as instant offense off the bench.
Now the Lakers better hope they don’t drop out of the Top 3 in the lottery. Otherwise, the Sixers get their pick.
Speaking of!
9) The Sixers Are Still A Mess
I have said over the months that I GET The Process but I wasn’t necessarily a fan of it. Still, I would’ve liked to see it through… but the now-former GM Sam Hinkie left his post recently.
Normally, to get to the top in the NBA, you have to bottom out. That’s just the way the NBA is these days. And boy, did the Sixers bottom out. They weren’t making any bones about being horrible. They stashed picks, injured drafted players that have potential to be great later, and played D-Leaguers. All in hopes of getting that transcendent superstar or two.
The funny thing was that Hinkie was working with the Rockets as an assistant GM before going to Philly. Houston never really bottomed out and was a fringe playoff team for years before cashing out with James Harden and THEN got Dwight Howard. They did what Hinkie did in Philly: collect assets until they had enough to get that superstar. Hinkie just did it in an extreme case in Philly.
In Hinkie’s third year of his experiment, the Sixers started off 1-30. Normally, in a team’s third year of rebuilding, the squad is a fringe playoff team. The Sixers were worse than ever. The owner had enough and installed Jerry Colangelo to be the chairman of basketball operations. Eventually, Hinkie resigned (and even wrote a 13-page letter of resignaton, which I didn’t want or need to read because it’s clear as day what’s happened with the Sixers) and it made way for Bryan Colangelo to take over as GM. THEN father Jerry resigned as chairman of basketball operations and became a “special advisor.” Yay, nepotism!
Let’s not forget that Mike D’Antoni came in as associate head coach around the same time Colangelo the Elder got the gig. Colangelo the Younger hired D’Antoni when he was in charge of the Suns. So Brett Brown could be gone soon? Yikes.
The Sixers eventually finished with a 10-72 record, which is the second worst full season in NBA history. They also have the worst in history (9-73 in 1973) so they are the champions of futility.
The reason why I wasn’t a fan of The Process? Telling your fans you’re going to throw away seasons is not exactly something I would do. Telling your players that you’re not really there to win? Why would the players try? And if a star did go to that environment? It takes a certain kind of star to turn around that losing and toxic culture. A winning culture matters. And I don’t think Hinkie was establishing any of that sort. I don’t blame the fans for abandoning ship.
Philly can and will turn this around eventually. It’s just that Hinkie won’t be there to see it. And eventually doesn’t mean “immediate future.” Yikes.
10) Migraines
This is more personal than basketball.
I’ve been doing this NBA thing since 2008. And as of late, I wrote like I had a chip on my shoulder. Going into this season, I decided to do something I said I wouldn’t do again and that’s to recap every single night of the NBA season (I did that in the 2013-14 season). While I LOVE writing about the NBA (obviously, my chosen path for some sort of career), writing and recapping EVERY night to the fullest of my capabilities took a toll on my health. It became more and more stressful and, combined with other personal things and tasks, my anxiety was at an all-time high. I started to get frequent migraines around the all-star break and I finally decided to step back and stop writing here at TNLP at the end of February. I did it without warning but I didn’t care because my health was more important than anything.
The past few days have been the healthiest in a while. The plan was to start writing again around April 1st before yet another headache came into play. So I waited until the playoffs and I had hoped to be healthy by then. I haven’t had a migraine in a week. And I always loved writing about the playoffs, when I always feel I write my best stuff because there is a lot more at stake.
I also looked back at what I did in the past few months and I don’t think TNLP stands out at the moment. Everyone does recaps and even if I make tons of offhand references on my writings; at the core of it, it’s still a recap. And, yes, I will do playoff recaps but those are so much easier to do with fewer games going on and, again, there is more at stake. But I need to get back to what made TNLP stand out. Health and time permitting, of course.
I do a lot more podcasting now (Rey-Rey Is Fundamental and TJRWrestling.Net) because that has been easier for me and, at the most, I do it twice a week. Maybe I’ll transition to just podcasting after this summer league. But I thank every one of you who has supported me and encouraged me throughout the years. Hopefully, I can stay healthy both physically and mentally. I’m going to take it a day at a time for now.
So yeah, last in my power rankings? HEADACHES. Stay healthy, everyone.
In the meantime, I can’t wait for the playoffs. IT’S GOING DOWN.
Follow Rey-Rey on Twitter at @TheNoLookPass for all tweets about the NBA and terrible pop music. Also, check out his podcast, Rey-Rey Is Fundamental.
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