30-Team Quickie (01/25/2011)

It is Tuesday. Time to take a look around the league. Sorry there was no quickie last week; my internet was all kinds of dead.

We take a look at how each and every team is doing and I give out a few blurbs. Remember that these are NOT POWER RANKINGS (I don't know how many times people miss that!); it's where they all rank record-wise. I also left my preseason predictions because it's fun to see how wrong I am! Anyway, leave comments or tweet me if ya got something to say. Let's go!

EASTERN CONFERENCE

1. BOSTON CELTICS (33-10) (Last Week: 2-1): Their five-game win streak was snapped after a loss to Washington. You scratch your head but then these are the same guys that lost to New Jersey last year and they were five points away from a championship. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 3)

2. MIAMI HEAT (31-13) (LW: 1-1): They emphatically snap their four-game skid with a record-breaking second quarter from... not LeBron, not Wade, not even Bosh... MIKE MILLER. If he's shooting like that... uh-oh. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 1)

3. CHICAGO BULLS (31-14) (LW: 3-1): Don't look now but the Bulls are only two games away from the #1 seed in the East. Fast don't lie. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 5)

4. ATLANTA HAWKS (29-16) (LW: 2-1): Let's just pretend that in their only loss this week, they couldn't even score 60 points against the Hornets. Okay? Okay, we can't. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 4)

5. ORLANDO MAGIC (29-16) (LW: 3-1): Can Dwight Howard get some respect for MVP? Career-high 22.1 points per game along with averages of 13.4 boards and 2.2 blocks per contest. And he shoots 57 percent from the field. Don't forget the shots he alters on defense. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 2)

6. NEW YORK KNICKS (23-21) (LW: 1-3): It was nice to finally stop that six-game skid. Gotham was getting flashbacks of the past few years. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 8)

7. PHILADELPHIA 76ers (19-25) (LW: 2-2): Part of their run to their playoffs is attributed to their improved home play. They've won six out of seven at what arena do they play again? Wells Fargo Center? I can't keep track of these arena names... (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 12)

8. CHARLOTTE BOBCATS (17-25) (LW: 2-1): Since Paul Silas took over, they are 8-6. Definitely working much better under Silas. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 7)

9. INDIANA PACERS (16-25) (LW: 0-3): I was asked by my boy, Jared Wade from 8 Points, 9 Seconds, if the Pacers are going to make the postseason at this juncture. I said yes but what do I know? They've lost five straight, including four on a West Coast trip. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 9)

10. MILWAUKEE BUCKS (16-26) (LW: 2-2): Brandon Jennings is due back anytime now. He'd better because the Deer's offense of 91 points per game is just... ugly. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 6)

11. DETROIT PISTONS (17-28) (LW: 2-2): Pistons have won five of seven but this whole Rip drama is just embarrassing. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 15)

12. WASHINGTON WIZARDS (13-30) (LW: 1-3): Not much to cheer about in the nation's capital but nice upset win over Boston last Saturday. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 10)

13. TORONTO RAPTORS (13-32) (LW: 0-4): This is just brutal. Eight straight losses by the dinos. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 14)

14. NEW JERSEY NETS (13-32) (LW: 3-1): Ever since their Russian owner took the Melo deal off the table, Nets have won three of last four. Mikhail Prokhorov should do more press conferences. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 13)

15. CLEVELAND CAVALIERS (8-36) (LW: 0-4): 17 straight losses and counting. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 11)

WESTERN CONFERENCE

1. SAN ANTONIO SPURS (38-7) (Last Week: 3-1): I mean, they're already off to their best start ever. What else can we say about the Spurs? They will be dangerous come spring, no doubt. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 4)

2. LOS ANGELES LAKERS (32-13) (LW: 1-1): This week, Kobe Bryant should pass Hakeem Olajuwon (8th) in the all-time scoring list. He's also 400 points away from Elvin Hayes, who is 7th. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 1)

3. NEW ORLEANS HORNETS (30-16) (LW: 4-0): The Bees have won nine straight and are getting it done on the defensive end (FIRST on points allowed). Ask Atlanta about that defense. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 10)

4. OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER (28-16) (LW: 1-2): Not the best week with OKC... but Kevin Durant's buzzer-beater against New York was some sight. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 3)

5. DALLAS MAVERICKS (28-15) (LW: 2-1): That six-game skid is over and Dirk Nowitzki is back... but now they're mired in another crapshoot with the rest of the West instead of running away with the second seed like they were earlier. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 2)

6. UTAH JAZZ (27-17) (LW: 0-3): Utah has lost four straight... but it's who they lost to that's disturbing. They should've at least beaten one of these teams: Washington, New Jersey, and Philadelphia. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 7)

7. DENVER NUGGETS (25-18) (LW: 2-1): Despite the whole ordeal with one Carmelo Anthony, Denver has won five of seven. Still, this team will just be uncomfortable throughout the regular season, no matter what happens. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 9)

8. PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS (25-21) (LW: 3-1): They've had one incredible run of five straight wins before dropping one against the Kings in a dud. Still, LaMarcus Aldridge has become the man. His January numbers read 25.5 points and 9.9 boards per game. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 5)

9. MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES (22-23) (LW: 3-1): Rudy Gay is the most interesting player in the NBA... that makes clutch baskets. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 11)

10. PHOENIX SUNS (20-23) (LW: 1-2): As one who enjoys watching the Suns play... and seeing them below .500... I just got one thing to say. F-Bomb. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 6)

11. HOUSTON ROCKETS (21-25) (LW: 2-2): Kevin Martin is 10th in scoring with 23.5 points per game. How come no one is talking about him in the All-Star game? Hey, if people can make the Monta Ellis argument, I can make this one, too, right? (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 8)

12. GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS (19-25) (LW: 2-2): Speaking of... these guys may go on a little run. They've got a loooong home stand. This could make or break them. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 14)

13. LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS (17-26) (LW: 2-1): As much as people are suddenly talking about them for a cinderella run to the playoffs, let's get realistic here. Clips can't win on the road (3-13) and they've got that February road trip that lasts 11 games and three weeks. Good luck. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 13)

14. SACRAMENTO KINGS (10-32) (LW: 1-2): At least, they're out of the cellar now. (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 12)

15. MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES (10-34) (LW: 0-2): How's this for progress? They win five more this season and they'll match last year's win total! KAAAAAHHHHHNNNNN!!! (PREDICTED ORDER OF FINISH: 15)

PHOTO CREDITS: 1) Elsa/Getty Images. 2) Paul Sullivan/AP. 3) Chris Schneider/AP. 4) Emmanuel Dunand/Getty Images. 5) Bret Hartman/AP.

VIDEO CREDITS: 1) NBA. 2) The Hoop Scene.

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About Rey-Rey

Rey-Rey created The No-Look Pass on December 2008. When he's not writing, he likes playing old-school video games. He's also in the process of writing a terrible novel.

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